The Written Word June 20, 2009

I just got back from vacation!  I can’t even remember if I mentioned I was leaving or not.  Each year my family goes “up North” fishing for a week.   We go to the same place every year, get the same cabins every year and pretty much do the same stinking things every year.  I love it actually.  One of our traditions is to play “Phase 10″ (it’s a card game), which often takes multiple nights given that there’s usually at least 6 people playing.  We have a traveling trophy that is a fish to hang on the wall that says “Gone Fishing.”  It’s not as tacky as it sounds, I swear.  Anyway, I won!  For the third year in a row (and really, I’ve won 4 of the last 5 years…the one year I didn’t win I wasn’t able to go on the vacation).   Yeah, I rock. I know it.  /sarcasm

I’m not a huge fisherperson so I just hang out in the cabin or on the boat and read a lot.  One of the books I read this year (I usually get through at least three) was “The Guersney Literary& Potato Peel Pie Society.”  Sounds like the dumbest book ever, doesn’t it?  Our family friend brought the book for herself to read but I started it because I had already read the two books I’d brought along.  I do read a lot but I rarely read good/high quality books – you know, more literature than just a good story – classics or Oprah Book Club quality.  I read murder mysteries mostly, by people who pump out a new book every other month or so (James Patterson, J.D. Robb, Faye Kellerman, Tami Hoag, etc.) I read before bed every night – when it’s too hard to understand the old English of Jane Austen and I’m too out of it to read too much into something.

 

But, I think I need to work on pushing myself to read more literature-like books.  I have *really* enjoyed the last few higher-quality books I’ve read recently – Memoirs of  a Geisha, Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns, Ashes to Ashes, and now Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. The books I listed weren’t really difficult to read ( like classics) but I’ve read so many “literary” best sellers that were utterly boring, that I’m hesitant to try any more.  While a murder mystery may not be deep, it surely is never boring!

 

Anyway, to the Guersney story.  The book is a series of letters written amongst a group of friends in Europe & Guersney Island (I don’t think that’s what it’s official name but I don’t feel like looking it up) after the WWII Occupation.  I loved the honesty and wittiness of the characters and it made me miss the quality of the written word that hardly exists anymore.  There’s something so pure and personal in the hand-written word of the past (even in notes to friends) that just doesn’t seem to exist in e-mail, blogs, or text. 

 

We celebrated my parent’s 40th anniversary while we were on vacation.  I immensely enjoy hearing stories about their past.  One of my favorites is the one about my dad in Vietnam.  My mom wrote him every single day (they weren’t married yet, or even engaged).  He was the envy of all the guys at mail call because there was *always* something for him.  While I’m sure troops appreciate getting e-mails from their loved ones daily (and how amazing it his how often internet access is available to them!) I have little doubt a hand written note would bring at least a little more comfort.  Kind of like how a note in the snail mail would more often than not bring a bigger smile to our face than an e-mail or text.  Part of me wishes I lived in a time when written (as opposed to typed) correspondence was the norm.  It’s something so trivial yet for some unknown reason carries significance for me.

 

Another little story about my parents, Vietnam & the written word.  In my mom’s purse is my dad’s army picture.  On the back it starts out with “My dearest Lydia…”  It sounds cheesy and generic but he meant it whole-heartedly.  Everything he wrote on the back is equally as sincere and sweet.  In this digital age, items like that are becoming more and more rare.  That’s sad to me because that picture is something my mom obviously still cherishes and something I will cherish after they’re gone.  For future generations, saved e-mails and pictures with filenames of “IMG_009933862″ just won’t have the sentimental value that a handwritten note or original photograph would have. 

Old Friends & First Loves August 10, 2008

Last night was an interesting evening.  The parade pretty much sucked.  It used to be full of colorful, fun floats, the *marching* band, Shriner’s in their little cars and a few emergency vehicles here and there.  Last night there were only a few floats that were half-ass decorated, the *marching* band rode on a hay wagon, there was an excessive amount of emergency vehicles, no fun little Shriner’s cars, and a ridiculous amount of large farm machinery.  Bo-ring!

 

I caught up with a few of my classmates and chatted a little bit.  It was so interesting because the ones who went off to college I could talk to for quite a while – we’d all gotten out and actually done something the last 5 years.  The ones who stayed in town and attempted (some failed, some succeeded) to go the community college route I talked to for about 2 minutes.  We would both say what we were up to and then that was the end of the conversation.  We had absolutely *nothing* in common.  It made me so ridiculously grateful that I got the fuck out of town and went to college.  While my life is far from exciting, I’ve actually grown and experienced new things in the last 5 years.  Those who stuck around are pretty much the same people they were in high school. 

 

I got to see a lot of parents of my classmates.  That was actually more enjoyable than seeing my classmates.  Then again, I’ve always been considerably more comfortable with people older than me.  The mother of a guy I “went out” with in 6th-7th grade (“going out” consisted of sitting on the phone in awkward silence for hours, seeing each other at the pool every few weeks, and eventually holding hands once at a football game, which was a huge scandal!)  She gave me the biggest hug and couldn’t believe I was there – she’d just thought about me the other day.  Her son recently broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years and she thought that if he’d just get back together with me he’d be so happy and get his life back on track.  That totally cracked me up!  I haven’t seen this guy since high school (but I have talked to his parents quite a few times since graduation) and it’s been 10 years since we “dated”.  But, it did make me feel good that she has such a high opinion of me.

At one point after the parade it started down pouring.  We huddled under the beer tent, thinking it would pass quickly.  It didn’t.  Eventually my sister discovered that a classmate of hers was at a bar a couple blocks away.  We get to the bar and everyone looks at us like we’re total idiots, and I’m sure we looked like we were!  From the bar we went to a party where there was free beer.  Oh, yay. /sarcasm.  We arrive and I see a group of boys that just graduated this past May and they’re drinking!  Right beside them is their baseball coach – totally sloshed.  Not to mention the party is being thrown by a guy who coaches multiple sports at the school.  A little while later in walks a 5th grade teacher who is also the head football coach.  I was appalled that all of these role-models would contribute to minors and set such a bad example.  I know kids will drink underage, I did but I’ll be damned if I’m actually going to *support* it.   I didn’t stay there too long – I wasn’t comfortable because I was all wet and my hair looked like ass, there wasn’t anyone my age there – everyone was either a lot older or a lot younger.  Most of all, I knew I could lose my teaching license for being there.  It just wasn’t worth it.

 

I drove home, fixed my hair, threw my clothes in the dryer and then headed back to town a couple hours later.  I debated whether or not to go back into town because I didn’t want to be put in another situation like I had been earlier and I wasn’t sure how many classmates would be around to actually chat with.  I’m glad I went though.  I got to talk to a couple people that I hadn’t seen earlier and most importantly, I got to see my sisters ex-fiance.

 

My sister got engaged right out of high school to a guy she’d been dating for a couple years.  I *adored* this guy.  He was always a lot of fun and very patient with me – I’m sure I was a very clingy 3-4 year old.  They broke-up a week before their wedding.  I never knew the reason why but had always kind of figured it was his fault.  He did keep in touch with me for a few years – I still have the last birthday gift he gave to me.  When I was a sophomore in high school at softball practice one day I found out the truth about why they broke up.  One of my older teammates said, “Oh, you’re Dee’s little sister?  She’s the one who screwed over my cousin Brady.”  I was so confused and looked at my coach (who went to h.s. with my sister) with a questioning look.  She just looked at me and said yeah, that’s the way it was, didn’t you know?  Come to find out, my sister had slept with another guy and her fiance broke off their engagement because of it.  Hellava way to find out my sister was a whore in high school.

 

Anyway, it was so, so great to see him again.  I probably haven’t seen him since I was about 7 years old or so.  He was in shock and jokingly took my beer out of my hand ’cause to him I’ll *never* be old enough to drink.  He said he’d talked to my parents earlier in the evening and really did miss them (and especially my moms popcorn!)   Even if I never get to see him again, he’ll always feel like a big brother to me.

 

It was the first time he and my sister had seen each other since they broke up (18ish years ago).  They both left town and neither come back to visit that much.  My sister was basically stalking him, trying to get the nerve to talk to him and I’m sure he was very aware that she was in town.  They did eventually talk and for the rest of the night all my sister could talk about was how much he’s changed (not necessarily for the better – in her prejudiced opinion) and blah, blah, blah.  He mentioned to me that seeing my sister again was a shocker (and seeing me all grown up just really blew his mind. lol)  I thought to myself, “Geez you two, it’s been almost 20 years – get over it!”  But, then I realized – they were each others first loves.  They’ll never really get over it.

 

Speaking of first loves, mine was there this weekend.  He was in the parade actually and damn did he look good!  Yummy!  We didn’t get a chance to talk though – when I saw him I was making the rounds chatting with classmates and about the time I got done talking to my sisters ex-fiance he left.  I know he’s a total ass but damn, he is so hot!

Family Times & Class Reunions August 9, 2008

Have I said before that I love my family?  I have?  Well, it’s still true.

 

My sister from another state is back this weekend and we’re both staying at my parents because it’s the big festival/reunion weekend in our hometown.  I’m celebrating my 5 year reunion (big whoopie, I know) and my sister is having her 20 year reunion.  Big age gap, isn’t there?  My reunion isn’t really a big deal – we’re just meeting at a bar tonight after the “big” parade.  I think it’s so weird to drink in one of the bars in my hometown – the atmosphere sucks, the drink selection sucks, and odds are a relative or former teacher/authority figure are going to stop by.  Last time I went there my aunt and her boyfriend were there.  Awkward.  While I’ve been old enough to legally drink for 2.5 years now, I still feel weird about it when I’m back home.  I never really drank in high school and in general my class wasn’t a huge drinking class while we were still in h.s. so meeting everyone at a crowded dive of a bar just doesn’t feel all that comfortable to me.  Plus, the majority of my class (of a whopping 49 people) are on facebook so there isn’t a whole lot of catching up to do with one another.  We all know who has kids, who went/graduated from college, who never got the hell out of town, who’s married, and what everyone looks like now.  So really, what is there for us to catch up on?

 

But, I came home for the weekend anyway – most ’cause it was an opportunity to see my sister.  And, I definitely made the right choice!

 

Her 20 yr. reunion is kind of a big deal.  First, they don’t use facebook (they’re too OLD, hehe) so they do have a lot of catching up to do.  They all met up at the beer tent last night, today they’re having a picnic, making their float for the parade, and tonight is the parade and an alumni dinner thingy.  I highly doubt any of them will attend the alumni dinner thingy though due to excessive alcohol consumption.

 

Her class was a *huge* party class and, well, some things just don’t change.  I told her I’d DD for her last night so at 5:30 I drop her off at a friends house (keep in mind, we live 10 miles away from town so being a DD isn’t exactly a convenient thing).  At 10:30 she calls me, wondering if I can come pick-up her friends kids, take them back to their place and babysit until they call me again to come get the rest of them.  Sure, no problem.  But, let’s also keep in mind that I’m usually in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:30. LOL. 

 

I go get the kids and my sister and her friends are totally wasted.  I’ve never seen my sister like this before in my life.  With the huge age gap between us, she was always kind of an aunt-like figure, less of a sister figure.  Of course, that has changed a lot in recent years but my family isn’t huge drinkers so I’ve never really had the opportunity to see this side of her.  It was pure entertainment.  While I’m getting the kids, their mother (who was my sisters best friend in high school) is telling me about this time her sons tied up their grandma – eyes covered and mouth gagged and everything!  I was like oh shit, what have I gotten myself into?  Really, they weren’t that bad though.  But, I couldn’t get ‘em to go to bed (then again I didn’t try very hard – they’re older and I wasn’t getting paid. lol) and I lost one of them when their parents got home.

 

I saw their parents drive into the yard (they’d gotten a ride from someone in town) and made them run upstairs to get in bed.  But, one of their beds wasn’t made so I quick-like made it.  In the mean time their parents and my sister walk in and one of the boys goes downstairs to greet them.  The conversation went a little something like this:

Mom: Why are you still up?! *Pause*  Wait, where is Chessa?

Boy:  Uh, she’s upstairs.

Mom: What did you do to her?!

Me: I’m just making Trent’s bed.

Mom:  Where is Trent?

Me: Um, I don’t know.

Mom: What?!

Me: I came up to make his bed and he ran away.  I hadn’t gotten around to looking for him yet.

My sister: Cripes sakes! And you’re a teacher?!

Boy: Don’t worry, he’s in the bathroom getting ready for bed.

 

There were several other little things we cracked up about. They are all entertaining drunks, that’s for sure.  Over breakfast this morning she confessed they’d even thought about “stealing” a mannequin for their float. They did stupid shit like that all the time in high school.  Yeah, some things really never change. lol.

 

It will be interesting to see what tonight brings.  My sister and her friends seem to think I’m going to be their DD tonight again tonight.  I have refrained from committing to that though.  Besides, how the hell can she get drunk two nights in a row?  She’s pushing forty for goodness sakes!  I’m 23 and can’t even do that! At this point I have little/no desire to drink much but one never knows.  Hehe.

First Love July 26, 2008

There’s something about ones first love.  It just sticks with you no matter where you go.  I consider my first love to be a guy I dated in high school.  We were on again and off again (and even when we were off again, we usually were unofficially together) for all four years of my high school hell.  We had a falling out in April of my senior year (he was a year younger) and didn’t talk again for 4 years.  He didn’t come to my graduation reception (his family did though) and I wasn’t invited to his the next year.  To this day it still hurts that he wasn’t at mine. 

 

We chatted at a wedding a couple years ago and patched things up somewhat.  I wouldn’t say we’re friends but if we see each other, we do chat a little.  But, like I said, he still haunts me.  I always ask my best friend about him, who was in his graduating class and sorta in his social circle.  And, I’m really bothered by who he’s dating right now (she claimed to be pregnant and have an abortion once but was never pregnant, then another time claimed to be pregnant but conveniently had a miscarriage before he was able to go to a doctors appt. with her. yeah – fucked up!)  Why the hell do I care who he’s dating?!  It’s not that I want to get back together with him by any means.  He was relatively immature in some ways for his age in high school and by all appearances, has actually taken a couple steps backwards as the years have passed. 

 

I have a feeling it will be much the same with Hunter.  He was my first D/s love.

 

Last weekend my sister spent the day with her ex-girlfriend.  They dated for only a few months, a few years ago.  It was extremely difficult for my sister to get over this woman – it was her first lesbian relationship and thus the first time she’d *really* cared about someone.  I had warned my sister against going to see her.  I told her that no matter how much she thinks she’s over the woman, feelings will still come back to her.  Sure enough, last night she confessed that it did stir up some feelings.  I refrained from saying “I told you so!” of course, but for two hours had to listen to her talk about her flipping feelings and try to encourage her that it will pass.  I tried to reiterate that a friendship just isn’t possible with this woman – it’s best if she puts it all behind her.  I’m sure she won’t listen to my advice and in a few months, or a year, or whatever, we’ll have the same conversation all over again.

 

But, I can’t really judge her.  I’m sure I’d do the same thing.

 

Lisa told me a couple weeks ago that her ex-husband had left her a message.  Let me tell ya – this guy is a real piece of work.  They’ve been divorced for 3ish years now and in that time tried to reconcile once (she found out he was majorly cheating on her) and since then have had minimal contact.  She recognizes that he’s a total bum, but his call the other day still shook her a little bit.  Granted, those feelings didn’t really mean anything – she didn’t even call him back but it made her stop and say ‘WTF?’

 

What is it about ones first love?  Just one of those mysteries of life I guess.

My Family RoCkS!! July 7, 2008

I love my family.  We get along so well.   My sisters husband is a computer guru and is very anti-instant messengers.  But he concluded that skype was safe.  So, everyone in my family got it so we could chat (nevermind that we e-mail pretty much daily and talk fairly frequently).  We tried a conference call tonight.  None of us are very computer savvy (especially my 60 year old mother) so it took quite a few tries.  Funny thing was, there was 5 of us but in only 3 locations.  I live with my sister so we were sitting in our living room on our respective computers, my niece is visiting my parents so they were sitting in my parents living room on their respective computers, and then my other sister was on her own computer at her house.   It took us a few tries but we finally get the 5 way calling going.  We laughed our asses off about various things multiple times though.

 

Then we introduced my mom to the magic of a cam.  She was amazed! LOL.

~*~*~

I got home from work today and took my things up to my room.  On my door was a note from my niece who had stayed with us last night saying thanks and that she hoped I liked what was left on my pillow.  I walk into my room and my bed is made, my thousand pillows arranged nicely and a plastic container with 2 dead lightning bugs on them.  How lovely.

 

My sister also had a note on her door saying a similar thing.  BUT, she had a Dove chocolate on her pillow!!  Guess who is the only one in this house who owns Dove chocolate?!  That’s right, ME!!  The little twerp stole my chocolate to put on my sisters pillow and stuck me with the bugs!  lol.

 

I just hope she didn’t find the silver bullet I keep on the floor between my bed and the wall….

Ooops! February 6, 2008

My family knows absolutely nothing about my alternative lifestyle.  I highly doubt they ever will.  My family is the reason I have little interest in living in a poly household.  When I was seeing the couple (I mentioned that, didn’t I?) I told my sisters about it – one was very outspoken against it, the other was against it but wasn’t forceful about it.  I can’t even imagine what my parents would say.  Now, don’t get me wrong, my family wouldn’t disown me or anything like that.  And, they aren’t a crazy, spiteful family or anything along those lines. They’re actually quite “tolerant” – one of my sisters is gay and everyone is totally cool with it.  My parents just wouldn’t get it.  And it comes down to the fact that I simply don’t want to see the disappointment on my mother’s face if I were to tell her.

Anyway, so my family won’t know about the D/s aspect of my life.  Well, a guy I’ve been talking to immed me today and said, “Hello Mistress.”  The box pops up on the screen…at the very moment when my sister was looking at my computer.  And, I went to click the corner thing and the computer started “thinking”!  It wouldn’t do anything for what felt like forever (but was really probably a second or two).  Finally, I got the box to go away and we continued looking at the site we had been looking at.  She didn’t say anything about it but I’m sure she noticed.  I was petrified. 

Speaking of the Mistress thing…I hadn’t asked that guy to call me Mistress.  I feel like that is an earned title – just like Master.  Now Sir or Ma’am I would be okay with.  I don’t know why I’m funny about that.  To each her own.