Note: This is a pity post so consider yourself warned.
I feel like all of my exes are either married or getting married. Okay, not all – I’m pretty sure Hunter isn’t engaged or anything. I just found out today that the guy I crushed on really bad in high school (we were so cute – met at a “barn dance” – literally, it was “love” at first sight and he eventually had his first kiss with me) is married. No idea when it happened or anything – we just became facebook friends and that’s how I discovered it. I am so disappointed. I never wanted anything with him (he’s kind of a man-whore) but he was fun to flirt with every few years when we saw each other. Damn.
Carter is engaged. How you go from getting a ring for one girl one month and proposing to a different one two months later, I don’t know. Most of the time that doesn’t bother me a whole lot because we never talk anymore. I made it clear that I would never be able to believe a word out of his mouth again, thus making a friendship impossible.
The guy who I consider to be my “first love” is engaged. We dated on and off all the way through high school. Only had sex once though – in the bed of his truck on a country road (it wasn’t enjoyable though – I was too damn nervous about getting caught!) Shortly after the truck incident we had a falling out and didn’t talk for four years. We are now to the point where we can socialize fairly comfortably if we’re ever in the same place together. And, he’s still just as hot as he was in high school. Damn.
I know all three of those guys aren’t meant for me. For one, none of them are kinky. The first guy from high school is far too much of a goofball for me (I like a goofy guy but he takes it to an extreme) and I highly doubt he could successfully make a lifetime commitment to someone. Carter obviously isn’t the one considering he’s a pathological liar. The “first love” guy is obnoxious and says inappropriate things in public. My parents always called him “a fart in a skillet.”
It bothers me that it bothers me that they’re married/engaged. It makes me fear that I never will be. Which I remind myself wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I will still have children and be happy, even if I don’t ever get married. But obviously I would prefer to spend my life with someone. I guess I just feel like a loser since I haven’t met anyone yet (yes, I know that’s stupid!) My exes are getting married and I’m hardly even dating anyone.
/pity party
