Scent September 23, 2008

How a guy smells is *huge* with me.  A guy I wouldn’t normally be attracted to, I may find attractive simply because I think he smells good, and vice-versa.  I don’t necessarily mean just colognes – a guys natural scent can have a huge impact too.   

 

Hunter came over tonight and he smelled yummy, yummy, yummy!  He has always worn cologne I like but tonight it was more potent (and not in the bad way!)  I can smell him on me now, even though he’s been gone close to an hour.  I totally want to sleep in my clothes (but won’t!), just so I can continue to smell him.  It’s not just with Hunter either – I love when a guy spends the night and I can smell him the next couple nights on my sheets. 

 

If someone were to ask me what my biggest turn-on is, I would have to say “smell.”  How weird does that sound?  lol.

Interesting Evening September 14, 2008

I decided to go with loyalty  and decided to forgo getting laid.  Surprisingly, I’m quite pleased with my decision.  Yesterday I woke up with pretty much no voice.  I’ve been battling allergies AND a cold the past couple weeks so I can’t say I was totally surprised.  But, I don’t have a sore throat, so it is a little odd.  Anyway, the whole no voice thing would have put a damper on any sexual escapades.  Plus, I had a great time chatting (well, more like whispering) with my friend over brunch today.

 

Last night wasn’t a total loss sexually though.  Paden and I have been chatting lately – nothing too big.  Last night his main squeeze was online and he invited me to watch the show.  Wow.  That’s about all I can say.  The woman he’s with is really into cbt.  I learned *so* much.  I’ve always been kind of hesitant to try cbt because I didn’t want to do any serious damage.  I’m definitely going to be trying it the next time I have a chance.

 

She had him tie up his balls and then get another string and wrap it around a full bottle of gatorade.  He then placed the bottle on the table and had to slowly step backwards until it fell.  She also made him jump a few times and swing it back and forth - such simple things yet they caused him so much pain.  He also had to use an air mattress pump at one point.  She made him put it on the sucking function and apply it to his balls and the tip of his cock. 

 

I knew icy hot was a fun thing to use but I’d never actually seen it be used before.  Paden had never had it used on him before either so it was pretty entertaining.  I love the delayed reaction you get with icy hot.  After he put it on and let it work its magic, the girl made him keep rubbing his cock for quite a while.  I guess when it’s rubbed it keeps getting warm.  Judging by his yummy reactions, it didn’t feel the best, hehe. 

 

Towards the end she kept making him get to the edge of cumming and then would say “take it away.”  For some reason, those three words turned me on like no other.  When she said it he would instantly stop stroking and squeeze his cock in an effort to take the feeling of wanting to cum away.  It was so damn hot.

 

~*~*~

Dayton and I talked a little last night about us.  He’s been insistent that he wants to pursue something with me but his actions say otherwise.  We’ve gone round and round about this for a while.  I know I must seem impatient to him or not understanding of his busy schedule but it felt a lot like what I just went through with Hunter.  I have no desire to be strung along like that again.   I tried to explain to him that when I don’t hear a word from him for a few days at a time, it doesn’t seem like he’s that interested.

 

Last night he told me that no matter how busy he is, he will carve out a few minutes for me every day.  Really, that’s all I want.  It may not sound like enough to some people but for me/us right now, it’s enough.  I just want to hear about his day, maybe tell him about mine, and perhaps discuss something that happened in the world that day or a new D/s idea one of us heard about. 

 

We also decided that I will be in charge of his orgasms.  For that to be effective, we will need to talk on a regular basis – how else can I torment him and drive home the fact that they’re *mine*?  Hehe.  I do hope he realizes he will only get out of this what he puts into it.  I do hope he’s serious about this communication & orgasm thing because if I can tell it’s not any semblance of a priority, I’ll call it quits.  Like I said, I’m not going to put up with a “sub” who very inconsistently “submits” like Hunter did.

Triple Booked September 10, 2008

So, it seems I have triple booked myself for Saturday night.  A few weeks ago my friend told me she was going to be in town for a wedding “some” weekend in September. I told her she was welcome to stay with me.  That happens to be this weekend.  The guy who had the girlfriend whom I said I was gonna kick to the curb?  Yeah, he dumped the girlfriend so we made tentative plans for Saturday.  And, the guy I met the other night?  He’s getting transferred for work so if I want to see him again Saturday is about my only option. 

 

I’m torn between loyalty and lust.  At this point I’m leaning toward loyalty.  I have a feeling that no matter what I choose, I’ll wish I had chosen something different.

The Good Stuff September 7, 2008

I fully intended to have this post done on Wednesday night but I’ve been swamped with work!  Anyway, here goes…

 

The good stuff started when I, out of nowhere, reached over and grabbed his balls through his jeans.  Just rubbing him through his pants got him going like no other.  He’s used to cumming on a semi-daily basis and he hasn’t been allowed to for a week or so.  Needless to say he was horny before I even started rubbing him.  He made the most amazing noises while I was rubbing him – much like the ones he makes when he’s in pain.  And, as I’ve written many times before, that makes me *so* wet.  It was odd to be so aroused from teasing him.  While teasing has always turned me on, it was the pain that really got me going.  In a lot of ways, it was actually the opposite with Dayton. 

 

I’ll really challenge that theory next time we’re together though, hehe.  We didn’t get too much into pain.  I eventually took his cock out and worked it both with my hand and mouth.  When my mouth wasn’t around his cock, I was teasing him relentlessly about how easy he was to turn on.  A few times he put his hands up to his face and literally hung his head in shame and embarrassment.  I’ve never *seen* the fruits of my labor in regards to humiliation as well as I did with him.  When I pursued humiliation with Hunter, he kept it inside and I had to be satisfied knowing/hoping it was humiliating to him.  Actually *seeing* the humiliation is almost intoxicating. 

 

I told him while I was teasing him that I wasn’t going to let him cum that night.  He’d already waited over a week because I’d ordered him not to before we met.  He took it in stride – didn’t really complain or anything.  It was thoroughly entertaining to me though because as I told him that, I had every intention of letting him cum later that night.  When he called some 2.5ish hours later to tell me he got home safely, I told him he could cum.  I don’t totally remember the conversation because I’d been sleeping a couple hours at that point and had taken my sleeping pill, but I definitely remember the excitement in his voice when I told him.  Too freaking adorable!

 

~*~*~

Not a lot has happened since that night.  He and I have both been ridiculously busy with our jobs and he’s actually 4 hours away for work this week so not a lot will be happening any time soon.  He is good with me though.  You know me, I worry like no other when I haven’t heard from a guy but that doesn’t seem to bother him.  He always patiently answers, “Yes, I’m still interested in you” (or something along those lines) whenever I ask if he really is just busy or if he’s no longer interested in me.  I greatly appreciate the fact that I can be completely honest with him about my insecurities and he doesn’t judge me for it or run in the other direction.

Dayton September 3, 2008

I had a date last night with Dayton.  We were supposed to get together over the weekend but something related to his work came up.  Because I’ve been screwed over in the past with guys not following through on their word (*cough* Hunter) I thought for sure he was just playing me.  But, he ended up coming to see me (a 2 hour drive) last night, which I know was a sacrifice for him because he’s a lot like me in that there’s *always* something that needs to be done for work. 

 

He was 35 minutes late though and to say the least, I was not happy.  The thing that bothered me was that he didn’t call to say he was going to be late.   I arrived at the restaurant at the time we were scheduled to meet and called him from my car to see where he was.  Imagine if I would have just gone in to wait for him!  I would have been sitting there looking like an idiot (I know, it wouldn’t have been *that* bad but I do have some social anxiety so it would have been traumatizing for me!)  I know I was a total bitch when we were talking on-and-off for those 35 minutes.  I’m lucky he still showed up and didn’t just turn around and say screw you. 

 

We chatted a lot over dinner – there weren’t really any of those awkward moments of silence.  At the end of dinner I asked if he wanted to come back to my place and hang out for a bit.  He recommended that we instead find someplace to just sit and chat or go for a walk.  I took that to mean he wasn’t interested in anything more than friendship.  Come on, if he really wanted to get in my pants, a walk would not provide adequate opportunities.

 

We settled on going back to my place though because it was getting dark.  We chilled and watched the Republican Convention, despite the fact we’re both passionate democrats.  An hour or so later he said he should probably get going.  That’s when he *finally* made a move!  Up to that point we’d been sitting on separate ends of the couch.  He reached for my hand or something like that so we ended up holding hands for a bit.  There were moments that took me back to high school as I kept thinking, “What do I do next?  How do I tactfully take another step?” blah, blah, blah.  We did eventually get to the good stuff though.